Saturday, June 28, 2008

The Fine Art of Small Talk

The Fine Art of Small Talk
This book was a real disappointment. Although the information on the cover doesn't say so, it's aimed almost exclusively at people in business situations; almost all of Fine's examples deal with corporate conferences and other networking events. For example, her top suggested line for exiting conversations is "I need to go see the exhibits." She continually emphasizes how improving your small talk skills will win you new clients, a promotion, etc. What about just making friends? The idea that you might want to improve your conversational skills in everyday social or family situations is hardly mentioned at all.

Fine also has some peculiar ideas about what constitutes "small talk." She offers a long list of "icebreakers" for initiating conversations with people you don't know. Unfortunately nearly all of these are too personal, too serious, or just bizarre. Imagine trying to strike up a conversation with a stranger by saying, "If you could replay any moment in your life, what would it be?" The person would just think you're either nosy or a kook. She even suggests using political statements as conversation starters, which is just asking for trouble.

There are a few good suggestions in the book; she has useful advice for dealing with egocentric people who talk endlessly about themselves. However, all of Fine's good ideas could easily fit on two or three pages.

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